the last time i saw you, we'd just split in two

Hello, friend. I'm still here.

Life has gotten a bit crazy. Since September, I've been paying rent at my parent's house. I've been working a lot to make up the difference. I haven't really been in the headspace to write, and that's not a very good thing. A lot is going on, and I have a lot of energy to put somewhere, so I'll be writing with greater frequency. I have a lot of entries all planned out, I just have to finish them! Be ready for a lot of posts on my Christmas knitting and cooking!

 Goodbye for tonight - sleep well, my friend.

it's a memory i know time will never erase

I'll start off with break #8, then go on to a few other things. I hope you're doing well.

I didn't manage to write for a few breaks. Things have been kind of busy. Life has been kind of insane - I'm probably going to be moving soon. Just elsewhere. Not anything extreme. Picking up a third job pretty quick as well. I'm also picking up some basic HTML for fun. Not much to write tonight. I think it'll probably be a long one. Slow night so far...

I've been doing a lot of thinking today. Watched a movie today - it really wasn't all that great, but there were a few characters that did a few remarkable things for one another... it reminded me of all of the things I wanted to do in my life. All of the things I wanted to do and experience with P-list. I want to make things the best they can be... which means that there will be a lot of changes happening, I think. I'll write more later... my mind's just a bit busy right now and I need to get to sleep. You sleep well also, my friend.

but i've got my pride, i won't give in

Sorry for the time apart - life has been a bit too interesting to post for a while. I'll start with a few break messages. I think I left #3 in my pants during a wash, so it's gone... as it is, I'll get started with #4

So... I think I may have washed my third break entry - nothing that can be recovered from it. This is me not making that mistake again. Sigh. I'm not sure what to write. I'm working with Shelley tonight - I've never worked with her before. I've done a few shows with her - she's always been in the pit. Well, I'm heading back.

and to #5...

Wow, that's incredible - I just got two tips in a row. Just about $4 between the two, but it's still exciting. A lot of thoughts today - P-list and I looked and ate at a restaurant that's up for foreclosure - only 11 thousand. It was fun to dream for a bit. Him and his dog up in the apartment above the restaurant, P-list and I working together to make people happy. I doubt that this place would work, but it was really fun to dream. I do a lot of dreaming around P-list. Life has so many possibilities I'd never thought of around him. Then again, just being with him is more than I'd allowed myself to dream about. Break's done.

#6!

Wow - that was intense. A party of 50. My hand almost being caught in the panini machine... yes. Now I'm just resting a bit before going back. Relatively short entry tonight. Not much on my mind - more soon.

and finally - #7...

Slow day here at Good Time. I think Sub Side only had about 5 orders in the 2 hours I've been here. I've been with P-list for 3 months as of yesterday - it's been a fantastic ride. I'm so lucky to know him - he's a great guy! I know you'd like him.

A lot has been happening - I'll try to fill in more soon. Sleep well, my friend.

no one mourns the wicked

Well friend, I'm back. I'll start off with break writing #2:

I should begin by telling where I got the idea to write on break - on napkins, specifically. I had heard that J K Rowling was so poor that when she began the first Harry Potter book, she wrote parts of it on napkins in cafes - instead of on traditional paper. I'd just began working at the time, and break mystified me. After the hectic time leading up to breaks, 30 minutes seemed ever so long. So, I decided to be productive instead. I worked on Melody's story - conception while I worked and writing on break.

It was an effective system and I got much accomplished - a lot of dreaming of Melody's fantasy world. I had the climax planned and written. Much of the foundation laid. I still have a lot of the details to plan out - I wan the world to be rich and inviting. I have been dreaming of it for six years. There are still a lot more years left to plan - I want it to be the best.

It'll take a while for me to get used to sub side - so it might be a bit before I can plan and think while I work. There napkin entries might not be substantial until that time. Only a few more minutes. P-list just got online, so I'll spend the rest of my time with him.

P-list is my name for a guy that is special to me. I'll be referring to him often, I hope. I've been dating him. It's been good... I'm happy.

Something else has been going on - I'm not sure if it's even worth my time writing out. I'll think about it and respond more later.

Well, my friend - I should go make dinner for myself and P-list.

Sleep well, my friend. I hope you're well.

i know where i've been

Hello, friend. Stopping back in - I'm working on a system where I'll be able to write more often here, we'll see how it works out. Basically, I'll be writing a lot during my breaks at work. From my first break, my plans for writing:

I can't believe it's been 4 years - I'm really excited to have breaks again. I do some of my best work there. Thinking, I guess. I want to work hard on Melody's untitled story and Kim Hersey's 'Entry.' It would be nice to make an entry per break. Break's over now - more later.

Melody's story is a trilogy that I've been working on for the last six years - on and off. It's a fantasy story that I've been wanting to tell. Kim's story is an action/sci-fi novel that I've been working on. I'm really looking forward to working on these projects again.

Oh, yes - I found more work. At a local pizza place here. Still working on the farm - the monies from both will be useful in the coming months. More importantly, I've been dating someone for the past few months - that's been amazing and fulfilling in ways I never dreamed possible. More food pictures to come some day.

I'm moving out soon. It's time for me to part ways with my current living situation, it'll be for the best. So many things going on - too many to impart in one entry. I hope that you are well, friend. I'll speak with you again soon.

Sleep well, my friend.

the origin of love

I'm back, friend. Life has been busy and hectic... a lot of changes to tell you about. I'm working hard on my next entry, but I wanted to let you know things were ok here.

Sleep well my friend.

something just broke

I'm at a loss, friend. I'm unsure what to write, but I know that the words will soon come.

Until then, sleep well, my friend.

i can do better than that

Well, it has been a busy time. Sorry that I haven't written in a while - I've discovered that when I maintain consistent personal contact with people, I don't feel the need to write. Inversely, when I'm feeling antisocial, I write endlessly. So many things to write on - I've made a list and I'll work through them... you need to know!

Yesterday night, I took a trip to one of the larger towns here to help a good friend of mine move this morning. He wanted to get an early start with the move (which fits great with him... me... not so much, haha). Things turned out ok, though - I got up earlier than usual, we started with the move at about 9. By 10, we were all packed up. By 11, we were all unpacked - my friend had another guy along to help. Between the three of us, the move turned out to be relatively easy. The day was beautiful - perfect for moving. The wind blew a bit, the sun shined, the temperature stayed comfortably low. After the move, we went out for lunch... more on that in another post. Not much else to that tale... it was nice, though. Great to be able to help my friend when he needed it.

Later on in the day, I stopped by a walmart to nab some shoelaces for a pair of boots that I'd recently acquired at a garage sale (more on these later as well). As I was leaving, I saw a family go in - a mother and her four, relatively young kids. The oldest (about 9, I would guess), was pushing a cart with a nice assortment of soda and mostly beer containers that layered the bottom of the cart. I didn't know what to think of that... maybe that's what kids are for: to help pick up their parent's mistakes.... or, to be more fair, to help return cans. I really have no right to judge them... it just seemed like a telling example of the society that I live in. I'm not even sure what to make of it.

Later on in the day, I went to my village's festival which happened to be this weekend. I see it as my annual reminder of why I was so excited on graduation day to be getting out of this place. I stopped to talk to several people I went to high school with on my way into town. One of them (who already has a kid) said that everyone we went to high school with had either gotten a really short haircut (like me), gotten fat, or gotten pregnant. Or, a combination of the above. Sad, how true it is. People I didn't think even had the social guts to even find a guy to knock them up were wandering the streets with the preggo stomach. Makes me want to do something about it... I just don't know what. I have a few projects I'm working on, but nothing to solve the root of the problems.

The festival was interesting, though - the vendors at the art show were really something. I wish I had some cash to help support them. Oh, and I saw an elephant. Heck yes.

After a long day, I returned home and had a decent evening... too many people though, haha.


On an unrelated note, I have something to say to you, my friend. If you are reading this, that means that I trust you enough to share this place with you. That being said, I have a disclaimer of a sort - I really like to be asked. Whatever you want to know, ask me. I'm an open book but you have to turn the pages now and then. Every now and then, I'll open to a page (such as this paragraph), but most of the time I won't talk about something until you show interest in that topic. Don't worry about asking me multiple times, I'll let you know if the pages are getting tired of your fingertips. If I don't think a page is appropriate for the situation that we're in (don't want to show the graphic pages to the poor, innocent, bystanding children), then I'll ask you to revisit a page later. Feel free to do so when the situation has changed, if I don't say a specific time. You're not pressing me, I'll let you know when that happens. I love you... you wouldn't be here if I didn't.

Really. I love you - get used to it.

Sleep well, my friend.

fucking perfect

Pizza pie anyone? My most recent ventures in the kitchen have been baking these fellows. I use my own sourdough - an idea that my brother had that I ran with.



Add my own sauce recipe and a few other ingredients


A few more layers....


Want a slice?


Too bad, this one's mine, MWAHAHA!!!



In other news, this song made me think of you - don't you forget it.


Carry the lyrics with you - I mean it. Sleep well, my friend.

nobody's on nobody's side

Wow, I have a lot of shit.



That all came from my room, which was then kind of empty:









And the paint moves in...











OH MY THE SECOND COAT IS ON







And now... it's already been lived in... AND FINISHED!!!











This makes a very happy renovator...



Sleep well, my friend - thanks for being here.

but nobody's rules are the same

Well, I've started sketching again. The sketches look... rough at best - it's been about three years since I've bothered doing anything other than a small doodle of a symbol to pass time. I really think I need to start small in both ideas and personal expectations - perfection doesn't happen overnight. In a way, starting a hobby fresh seems... refreshing? I've also started to write again - all those hours of thought helping to grow a kernel of an idea into a sprout (hopefully). Exerts of the work might appear here as I make progress.

More tonight - sleep well, my friend.

everybody's playing the game

Want a slice of pie? This will be the food show, in which I introduce all of the great eats I've been making for the past weekish!


We'll start off with my Shepherd's Pie!


It does have real sheep-related meat in it - yearling, specifically. Yearling, carrots, onions, celery, and a few other things in the bottom layer, mashed potatoes on top - delicious eats! It was a great, fulfilling meal - a lot of leftovers in the fridge after this one.

How about some pie? Shell first:



Add the custard:


and the Meringue:


And bake!


Want a slice?



Now for some pizza and breadsticks! I made the pizza sauce myself - don't ask for the recipe, it's a secret... maybe.


Anywho, pizza!


I didn't get a picture of the cooked pizza, but it was as tasty as it looks (or, conversely so if it doesn't look tasty to you)! I did get a picture of the breadsticks, though!


Mmm... extra sauce for dipping...



So, that's food! I think that the next update I'll do will be about the room renovation - I think I have enough pics to make it through all right! I think that's about it for now. Sleep well, my friend.

i can even pat myself on the back when necessary

Give yourself time, Arnold. It gets better... But, Arnold, it never goes away. You can work longer hours, adopt a son, fight with me, whatever... it'll still be there. But that's all right, it becomes a part of you, like learning to wear a ring or a pair of eyeglasses. You get used to it. And that's good. It's good, because it makes sure you don't forget. You don't want to forget him, do you?

I don't know what to say tonight. A lot of things on my mind. Too many people that I'd forgotten and shouldn't have. I'm feeling the need to write... and also the need to push it away, to forget. Forgetting will be a cheap imitation of what life could be like: truly myself, pains and pleasure - everything.

And so I must write. That is all there is to it. So simple. So complex. Easily difficult and difficultly easy. Strange how different those are... and so similar.

Maybe I just need to get my ass to bed.

Sleep well, my friend.

it's hot and it's monotonous

Fascinating what life throws at you. Or doesn't. Either way, it's been a fun few weeks - I've got a lot of artistic and writing ideas swirling around in my brain... boil, boil, toil and trouble - fire burn and cauldron bubble. Mwahaha.

Anywho!

I have food related pics and and room related pics - wanted to drop a line to say that I'm still here.

Take care and sleep well.

don't face the headlights of the oncoming cars alone

Well, hello there. In the past few days, I've made a few interesting concoctions... I did not photo journal them because I think that you might have been disgusted. First off, I made heart of beef... sliced it into sections and sizzled it on the stove top like one would a steak. It was interesting... intense flavor, thick meat. Today, I used leftover heart in a sandwich similar to the one I posted earlier - heart added a great flavor and heaviness to the sandwich.

I need to get my butt in gear. I needs a job. And, I need to do taxes. And get back into college. Sounds like an hour long task, eh?

A lot on my mind tonight...

Sleep well

and i'm almost there

Sorry, I forgot to take the final shot of the finished product. The oven shot will have to do! I made pizza tonight if you couldn't tell. It was superbly delicious.

I started with some homemade pizza dough:


Roll it out:


Perforate!


Cover in sauce!


Toppings anyone?!?!


And into the oven!



All together, delicious meal. Add a Dr. Pepper, and the night was amazing. A lot is on my mind again. I'm concerned that I haven't treated a friend of mine all that well. I have a tendency to assume that everything is ok when, apparently, things aren't. In honesty, it would probably be self-centeredness. I think things are ok in a relationship, and so I figure that the other person isn't as happy. Maybe even seen as using the other person? I don't know.

I can see the moon as she traverses the sky outside my dining room window... she always gives me hope and inspiration. Something clean and new ever filling itself and emptying itself; rebirth coming every 28 days. Something to strive for, I guess. Re-invention. Taking nothing for granted every cycle. Hope of a new day when I've had all I can take. The promise of more when I feel empty.

I hope I can help fill your emptiness, my friend.

Sleep well.

nobody needs to know

Ah, life is interesting - as always! Snow has been covering the little town that I live in. They tell me that I'll be getting a nice covering of ice as well - won't that be fun! Still remodeling the room - working on painting the closet now. A lot of crevices - it's time consuming work. Also a bit tiring on the arms. It'll all be worth it in the end! The painting should be done tonightish, then we start the mass cleaning of the rest of the room. Then, I'll start bringing stuff back in, reorganizing, and throwing out other things that need removing.

It has been an interesting week. Overcoming obstacles, being happy at successes, trying hard to work through failures and times where I didn't come up to scratch... it has been a fulfilling week. I find myself grateful for my friends these days. I feel so blessed to know so many good people. I hope to enrich their lives as they enrich mine.

There are so many lonely people out there and I have been graced with this assortment of people that care about me as I care about them. That help me as I help them. Improve my life while I improve theirs.


There is more to say, but not enough time to say it in. For now, sleep well, my friend.

i open myself one stitch at a time

This, my friends, is the creation of the day. In my family, we call it Chess Cake. A simple concoction made from yellow cake mix, eggs, butter, and powdered sugar, it (I'm sure you can see) yealds delicious results.

First, there's a mixture of egg and yellow cake mix:



Smash that into a 9X13" pan




mix together the liquidy goodness (I will not divulge the secret - mwahaha), and add it on top




Bake it for 50 minutes at 325, and you get the end result!





That might be the last of my cooking for a few days - time to take a bit of a break. Mom and I made the chess cake for our family Valentine's Day dinner. So many things inhabit the corners of my mind tonight. I am unsure of where to begin, or if I should even tell what is on my mind tonight. A great amount of thought remains unformed in my mind, and I do not wish to bring something forth undeveloped. I'm still working on my room - the first coat of paint is on. I'm hoping to finish up the main room tomorrow. There will be a special blog update when it's all finished! I've been documenting the entire process.

I'll leave my thoughts to stew a bit longer - take care, my friend.

Sleep well.

i struggle to keep my balance

^ Lamb stew. I made it on Friday - it was delicious. I used the last of my Christmas yearling from my boss. I think I had a bit too many potatoes, but oh well. It's so delicious, and leftovers are the best part. This first pic was taken just after everything was added to the meat and broth. Slowly, the ingredients get swallowed up by the stew...




mmm.... stewy goodness




I find myself missing Ohio as my one year anniversary of leaving it draws closer. Tonight while I was eating out with a good friend, something in the air reminded me of all the times when my best friend in Ohio and I went out for dinner - often pizza. I miss him so much. All the others as well - so many times I'll never have again. When I went out with them, it was like a regular evening - a normal happening. Something that happened every week, quarterly, etc. So strange when you think about it - all those things that seem like they would never end. Somehow they phase out and we find new people and new things that never seem to have an ending.

Last night, I went to go see a local high school's production of The Crucible. It has been several years since I have even thought of reading this work. Watching the show was an emotional experience - the acting and delivery wasn't overly moving, but the script pierced down to my soul. Memories of when I did this very production in high school came flooding in... how my high school's Rev. Hale never could pronounce "blasphemy;" how we skipped two pages of dialogue in the courtroom scene and somehow managed to keep the story intact; when I would set the fog for the forest scene in the beginning of act II and then run through it to spread it across the stage. In addition to those nostalgic feelings, the story seemed like a validation of my recent belief that organized religion is doing more harm than good in the world. Finally, the story helped me to realize exactly how much people can hate things they don't understand. It was a horrible feeling and caused me to re-examine a lot of judgments I have made in the past.

I remained out helping with strike, then speaking with Jem for several hours after that. It was good.

Well, I must get going - there are many miles to go before I sleep.

Take care and sleep well.