I See the Stars Through A Mirror

Good evening, friend.

I don't know if I've given up on trying to chronicle my trip to NYC or not. It's all starting to get fuzzy. Some details are clear as crystal, and others just start to haze over in the madness and sheer insanity of it all. I saw Sting perform live. In a limited run of the musical he wrote. "This is ridiculous, what am I doing here, I'm in the wrong story..."

To top that off, a good friend of mine just published her debut novel! I know, I know. I talked about it in the last blog - but it bears repeating! Such a fun read, very well told. Check it out, The Beast by Lindsay Mead. It's also available at Amazon. I'm so excited about this one - I was one of the first beta readers to finish it, and I haven't been able to talk about it at all with anyone until now! 

The book is the first book in a Steampunk retelling of the classic fairy tale Beauty and the Beast. What can I say? There are hellhounds, badass heroines, awesome gadgets, memorable characters, and secrets lurking throughout the book that I have a feeling will all tie together in the end! I can't wait! 

How's life for me? It keeps going. Picking up the pieces after the fire, still. The new apartment is starting to feel like home, and I'm grateful for that. My own novel is coming along as well, with some encouragement from one Lindsay Mead. I'll be taking some time off in the next few weeks to work on both and to take some time for myself. 

I'm also thinking about doing a weekly vlog on youtube... much to ponder I suppose. As with this blog, it would be a matter of staying on top of and personal discipline... which I'm ever so great at... as you can clearly see...

At any rate, much love and I'll talk with you soon. 

I Can't Believe You Really Came

Good evening, friend.

Sorry I've been away for a bit. Life has a bit nuts - I'll give you a hint. This was my view at 3:03 AM just over three weeks ago:

Needless to say, it kind of threw a wrench into my life. I had never known before what it was like to be without a home. For several minutes I stood, just watching the apartment I'd worked hard for get closer and closer to being consumed by the flames. 

In that moment I had to face the possibility that everything I had gathered would be gone. A rather wordy way to say that I was scared shitless. 

I had never had to face the possibility that at the end of the day I would not have shelter over my head. That kind of realization changed me to the core. 

It was remarkable how fast news of the fire spread. I hadn't even begun texting people to let them know I was okay when coworkers who had seen the fire on the news and started sending me messages. Was I okay; did I need anything; was that my building? Thank goodness I had grabbed my phone in my haste to leave. 

My mother picked up the phone within the first few rings. She and my father would be down soon. All the while Patrick - who I'd called first - waited with me. The 24 hour doughnut shop down the street from my apartment was a buzz of activity that morning. Patrick and I grabbed some doughnuts and waited there for my parents to arrive. Around us all the regulars chirped on and on about the fire. Speculation flew through the air as several of the tenants of my old apartment wandered in and out. One even slept in the far corner. 

All the while friends and family were sending me messages, asking what I needed. I could feel their love and support from many miles away, across the country. Honestly, I'm not sure how I would have made it through that day without all of their support and love. 

The hours passed and the days went by. People came out of the woodwork to support me and help me out. I eventually did get into my old apartment. It was unreal going in after all that had happened - and yet most everything was the same as I'd left it. Just wet. Dishes were in the sink, waiting to be washed. DVDs were in a pile by the doors to my deck - where I had set them to be organized. Several board games sat at my kitchen table, never to be played again. One that I had just gotten, Onirim, had popped out of its box - the cards in it had gotten so waterlogged that they'd expanded. 

Over two days several friends, family members, and I put my old belongings that we thought we could save into plastic totes to be carried to my new apartment. I'm still amazed just how much we were able to salvage. It's been a long process sorting through the old stuff, washing old clothes and blankets, trying to get the smell of smoke off of everything, but it's coming along. I'll get back to blogging regularly, but I beg your forgiveness for being silent. I've had a few other things on my mind. 

Much love to you, my friend. Remember that everything surrounding you is just stuff in this physical world we inhabit. It's the people and the connections you make that matter. They'll still be there when you have nothing else to hold you up. 

Thank You For Finding Me, and Thank You For the Care

Hey there, friend.

Well, National Novel Writing Month is over with now and I can get on with other parts of my life. I did relatively well, finishing two thirds of the goal in the alotted time.

Aside from that, life goes on. Work goes well. I haven't been sleeping all that well, but that's a whole seperate blog topic.

I've really been liking what I've been seeing from the new Into the Woods movie. It's been one of my favorite broadway shows for many years now, and I'm thrilled about the attention that it's getting. I had been worried several months ago, as details started to emerge about it. Certain scenes that I am rather fond of in the musical were deemed too inappropriate for a Disney movie. I can understand that, I just wish it wasn't necessary. If it's done the way it often is on stage, children probably wouldn't get that it's inappropriate in the first place.

Who knows, though? I don't make movies, I just comment on them.

In other news, I still haven't gotten my Christmas decorations up. It's very unusual for me, usually I start to go crazy around the first of November, packing away my Halloween things and getting my Christmas decorations out. I'll have to get on that as Christmas is creeping closer. I think I have most of my presents picked out, but I haven't bought very many of them.

Well, friend, I think I'm going to sign off here. Have a great night and stay warm until I talk with you again.

The Coffee's Never Strong Enough

Good evening, my dear friend. As you can see, I'm up very late again. All day it seems to me that something's pulling at me from the outside. A force penatrating my spirit, leaving me uneasy. Laying in bed I realized the need to create and communicate to help ward off this sensation. I get like this every now and again: unsure and emotional. Sometimes I joke that it's my "man period."

I don't ever really know what brings it one, but I have my guesses. Big changes in friendships and work are to come, as well as several side projects. As you know, I've decided to take place in National Novel Writing Month in November. It approaches faster than I think I'm ready for. Such a huge undertaking, and I can't even figure out the name of the main character. I'll figure out, haha. I think that's part of the beauty of NaNoWriMo: you have to just do. Making the best novel isn't the point. The point is to finish one in 30 days. That means that all involved have to write over 2,000 words every day. In that time, there is no chance to second guess.

This will be very good for me, I think. Not being able to obsess and perfect something; just to finish it. I'm already building playlists, thinking of overarching themes and settings, an trying to get as prepared as possible for it. I think that's one reason I've been talking so much about music to you. Trying to get my descriptive muscles moving. I really wish I could type as fast as my brain can think! Just imagine all the work I could get done.

I doubt that the novel I write will ever be available for publication, but I really think that it would give me the self confidence to be able to get the other ideas I want to share with the world out into publication. It's a step. And that's one thing I've really been working on in my personal life: taking that first step. Many times for me, that's the hardest part. Of course, that then leads to the next hardest part: the follow through. Workout routines have never really worked out for me because I lack the effort to follow through. Then again, I really hate physical exercise. You get my idea, though.

I really think that's life, though. You take a step, and it's the most difficult thing you've had to do. Then, you take the next step, and it's just as hard - if not more so. Most people give up when they reach that second barrior in something new. Maybe the third or fourth. Somehow, though, I have got to know that it's worth it. It's worthwhile to overcome and move on to new and unseen territory.

That's sort of why I'm excited for NaNoWriMo. It's something I've always wanted to do, it's something to overcome. It's a way to rid myself of all of this unwanted creative dark matter. It just swirls inside me, a biproduct of the human existance. I have to find new ways to let it out in productive and beautiful ways. If I don't, it bottles up and tends to force itsself out in ugly and... unfortunate ways.

At any rate, I've been very excited to pen an idea that I've been working for the past few weeks. When I decided to take on a novel, I had to decide if I wanted to choose from a list of ideas I'd already thought about, or if I would do something new. I chose the latter, for the thrill of it. Well, mostly that if it was very terrible, it wouldn't be an idea that I held dear to me and I might be able to just chuck it out the window!

The concept that I'm running with now is heavily inspired by the works of HP Lovecraft, though I doubt that we'll see any of his universe show up. Just general ideas, themes, and vague images that give me inspiration. I was reading one of his stories before bed and this idea really jumped at me. To paraphrase, any hack can draw a scary image for the cover of a magazine. Only a true artist can make a creation that causes a stirring in us, that speaks to the unconcious portion of the brain. That's because the artist has had direct contact with the reality of what they're conveying through their chosen medium.

Those words really got me thinking. I have to portray this story in a realistic way, a way that sounds more like memory than imagination. I think if I come at the novel with that approach, I'll already have a much more quality piece of work. I think my general concept is that the novel will be a tome, written by a high priest of an ancient god that has invaded the modern world. The story will be almost a history that the god has instructed the priest to set to paper as a testiment to its greatness. How the twenty-first century found itsself crippled in a matter of days to a force it couldn't comprehend.

It's a bit rough, I'll admit. But it's something to work with, and I'm grateful for it. With those thoughts, it's probably time for me to turn in. Goodnight, my dear friend.

Practically Dope

Good evening friend.

It's good to be around again. I am so excited that October is upon us, you have no idea! The weather has swung into fall mode: mid 50s and drizzly during the day and chilly, chilly nights. I thoroghly enjoy my walks to work this time of year.

I did take a few days off of life and work due to a sickness, but I'm back on the road of life eager as can be! I'm planning out the novel I am writing this year for National Novel Writing Month in November, and I'm getting some great ideas. This will be my first year doing it, but I've got some great buddies going along for the ride.

I just roasted another batch of coffee and got all of my dishes caught up (my least favorite chore), and now I'm all pumped and ready to get more done around my apartment... at two in the morning. My guess is that my neighboors wouldn't appreciate that too much. So I decided to sit down and write a bit.

What I'm very much excited for tonight relates to one of my favorite past times: tabletop gaming. I discovered upon logging into the internet today that one of my favorite games, Elder Sign, has an expansion on the way! This game takes place in the same universe as Arkham Horror (rereleased in 2005  by Fantasy Flight games) universe. Much of the theme and content derives from the works of H. P. Lovecraft and his contemperaries. It features a heavy horror theme mixed with science and the incomprehensable nature of the universe in which we live. Elder Sign is sometimes reffered to as Arkham Horror lite because you get a bit of the Lovecraftian horror elements in half to a third of the time as Arkham Horror (I've spent five to six hours playing Arkham Horror before).  If you want a quick demo on Elder Sign in play this episode of Tabletop is a great introduction.

I've picked up about half of the eight expansions available for Arkham Horror, and the only expansion available for Elder Sign. And now this! I was concerned that Fantasy Flight (who also publishes Elder Sign) wouldn't release another expansion to Elder Sign. It's been over a year since the last expansion came out and they are actively adding expansions to another game, Eldritch Horror (also in the Arkham Horror universe). I took this to be a sad sign that Elder Sign would just be set on the shelf with just the one expansion.

Don't get me wrong, I love the first expansion for Elder Sign. It adds a lot of new cards, as well as a couple of new mechanics that change the game, but not drastically enough to make it difficult to pick up. Now Fantasy Flight has announced a new expansion due out in the first quarter of 2015: Gates of Arkham. In this press release they talk a lot about what the new expansion will offer.

It looks like the defining component of the game is called Streets of Arkham Mode. Now, in Elder Sign, you play as an investigator looking for clues about the Ancient Evil threat. You go through rooms of a museum gathering useful items and clues on how to lock away the Ancient One using Elder Signs. In the new Streets of Arkham Mode, it seems to me that the investigators will now be able to go into the town of Arkham and have adventures there. This mode features a new deck of encounter cards as well as beefs up decks from the base game. It does appear, however, that several things from the base game won't be compatable with this new mode of gameplay.

For me, this begs the question: why change the basic components in an already good game when you could just release another game? It could be Elder Sign: Arkham Edition. From what it looks like so far, that almost seems like an easier solution than cramming more elements and locations from Arkham Horror into an expansion. That aside, I'm super pumped for this expansion. I'm a huge fan of the Lovecraft mythos and theme, and I love the way Elder Sign encorperates it. Fantasy Fight will be demoing the new expansion at a few events they have coming up in October and I really wish I could go see what it will be like.

I cannot wait until the first quarter of 2015. That could be March! Ah! Sigh. It'll be okay. I'll be sure to tell you about it the moment I can preorder it. Until then, I'll be re-reading this press release a few more times to see what other details I can glean from it.

Oh, and I'm listening to Dope off of Lady Gaga's most recent album. I've heard her joint album with Tony Bennett so much recently that I pulled out Artpop and gave it a listen. This song seemed strangely appropriate for this blog. What can I say? We all have our vices.

Have a great night, my friend.

Act II

 Well friend, it's time to pick this up again. The time has come for a new format, and a new way of looking at things.

I decided recently that I needed to start writing and getting my thoughts out. I was very much tempted just to make a new blog and leave this one to sit gathering dust... This would, I think, somehow discount the life I left here for you to read and enjoy.

The new format isn't even entirely worked out, but I figure I should start practicing my writing several times a week, if not an attempt to write daily. I'd like to discuss thing from my day, though not specific enough to violate anyone's privacy nor disclose too much personal information. We'll see as we go along.

This space will be used also as a means to let you know about my projects here online. Sometimes I'll appear in YouTube videos with my great friend Lindsay. She has a daily vlog that I occasionally appear in. We're also working on a series of videos for her other YouTube channel called Drunk Disney Reviews... so far it's been as fun as it sounds like it would be. The first few episodes are recorded, but not uploaded yet. We're also working on a great podcast that I might share here in the future.

Also later on this year, I'll be working on my first attempt for NaNoWriMo which I am uber stoked about. I have a few details worked out, but not enough to start writing tomorrow.

I've also been getting into board games a lot recently and will probably be doing some reviewing and discussion about them. Pictures to come, certainly.

Since reading is also important to me, I'll be attempting to read a whole lot more, I'm gunning for about a book or novella a week. At the end of that read, I'll be writing out my thoughts in a semi review form. Nothing too serious, just expressing the deep need that I've found to communicate and share my thoughts and opinions. Feel free to interact at every point. Comment on posts and tell me what you think of my ramblings.

As always, I'll be sharing the music that's on my mind (currently Propeller Seeds by Imogen Heap).

Oh, and expect pictures of food and coffee. I'm a bit addicted to both.

Feel free to visit my other blogs, one I might still use for fun, one completely dead and gathering internet dust.

Raise Your Ragged Sail

We are Such Stuff as Dreams are Made On


Thank you for staying with me, friend. The two years I've let this lay quiet have been good for me to refocus and find a new purpose, a new meaning. Something to tell you about in the future to be sure.